Good morning ... country ...

....2009....

So much happened since my last blog entry. All I wished in new year was peaceful life for me and for my close ones. This was wished for a reason; my intuition never failed me and this time I knew that something was coming.

It came and went, without leaving a single trace. Only those remember her that loved her so much. It is true, the main thing why I wanted to go home was to see her. To contemplate her emotions when she saw me. And now what? She is gone, gone cos I decided so. I am cruel, so cruel. No, I am a monster.

But I believe that in life everything happens for a reason. We just have to understand it and adjust our lives. At the moment I am trying to get it and to make necessary changes. I am trying, really, though sometimes I am lost. No, majority of times I am lost.

I dream about her nearly every night. Sometimes I am afraid to go to sleep. She will be in my heart forever. And nobody's gonna understand how I feel.

Now I wanted to be loved and love somebody. Is it too demanding or complicated? Just to share my world with somebody? Even for a short time? But I guess the answer to this wish is very complicated....